mart 6:06 Tue Dec 11
Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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Had the biggest shock of my life last week when a one-night stand from several years ago contacted me to say her 5-year-old daughter was mine. Never even knew she existed. The mum thought it was her ex's but a recent DNA test has proved otherwise. She is a single mum of 2.
I am having a DNA test this week to prove it (but from what she says it seems about 99% certain at this point, I am her only other option).
I have a partner and a 2 year old daughter now - my partner and I are devastated about this.
Has anyone been in this kind of situation and has any advice/words of wisdom?!
Haven't made any decisions about what I would do yet, still trying to get my head around it.
Thanks
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Replies - In Chronological Order ( Show Newest Messages First)
Northern Sold
6:09 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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Nope never happened to me......
then again I am a Virgin....
I'm just saving myself for the right labrador....
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Buster
6:09 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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Will be even harder if you were with your current sort at the time you fucked this other one!
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I.want.that.one
6:18 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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Turning your back on this child will more than likely lead to them having long term personal issues.
I didnt meet my daughter until she was 19. Poor girl spent her whole life thinking her father didn't want her.
She's quite messed up, erratic and struggles with genuine emotional intimacy problems with everyone.
Don't let this child grow up with an internal voice telling them that they weren't good enough for you.
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Eerie Descent
6:36 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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'any advice/words of wisdom?!'
NEVER GO IN
WITHOUT A SKIN
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Dwight Van Mann
6:44 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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reckon you'll slip her mum one again for old times sake?
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,
6:45 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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DNA testing is revealing the occasional family skeleton in a cupboard. A friend of mine found out that his real father was his dad’s brother and all due to a DNA test which he commissioned to determine his genetic ancestry. The letter with the results also included two close family linkages which is how the truth came out. His late mother had always kept her affair with his uncle a secret but when confronted his old uncle revealed the dalliance. The uncle was surprised assuming that the lad was his nephew and not his son.
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Eerie Descent
6:49 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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"A friend of mine"
That old chestnut...
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Dwight Van Mann
6:51 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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turns out comma is a real bastard
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Hammer and Pickle
7:01 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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Better than finding out you really are a child, I suppose.
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Nurse Ratched
7:02 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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If this is a genuine story it's incredibly sad. What a mess.
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Alwaysaniron
7:14 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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Coming on WHO with a tale like this is bordering upon insanity. FWIW I would have a good heart to heart with your current partner. At the end of the day you weren't unfaithful to her so it shouldn't be as bad as if you had been. Your daughter (assuming she is your daughter) will want a father figure in her life, not to mention a sibling (and that goes for both kids). If it's just financial she's contacted you for then that's a low blow but if you don't keep it covered ..... I hope that long term it works out for you and your kids. Good luck mart; I have a feeling you'll need it in the coming weeks/months.
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Grumpster
7:17 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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No matter how pissed, I've never been thick enough to unload inside someone, even if they've told me it's safe too.
Some very devious women out there, so never trust someone you've just met.
Its a bugger, but no point being down about it as no one to blame but yourself unfortunately, so just be a man and help the girl become a decent woman instead of a messed up one.
Doesn't have to be a negative.
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,
7:20 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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mart, have you thought about dna testing your two year old daughter?
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Gavros
7:21 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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Yep. I'd say much the same. See this as a brand new part of your life that its your responsibility to shoulder.
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lab
7:37 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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If you're mrs is a strong bird you'll get through this . Life can throw up a lot worse than this mate .
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bruuuno
7:42 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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One day you will be glad. Just do the best that you can by her
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Peterboroughiron
7:43 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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Found out I have a 30 year old daughter a few years ago was never unfaithful to my missus but didn’t go down well upshot is she has just walked out after 30 years hope it goes better for you m8
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Mart O
7:43 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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'Devastated' ? Not sure it's that bad. I'm not in your shoes but seems to me there could be more positives than negatives in this, other than missing out on her till now. She's likely as not a good kid.
As per I.want.that.one, better to find out now than 20 years down the line when you can't do anything about it. And if the mother was a money grubber, she'd probably have been into you well before now. Chin up, SON, might yet prove to be a great Christmas present. I'm just surprised I don't have a few of these floating about, given how I like to SOW.
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Jim79
7:49 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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Not one request for a link to the one nighter or the mrs...........this site has changed!!!
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Nurse Ratched
8:19 Tue Dec 11
Re: Finding out you have a child you never knew about
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How can you bond fully with a child after 5 years? It will never feel the same way it does with his 2 year old. The things we do to kids, albeit often unintended.
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